Excerpts from "How to be Perfect"

-Get some sleep.

-Eat an orange every morning.

-Be friendly. It will help make you happy.

-Hope for everything. Expect nothing.

-Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room
before you save the world. Then save the world.

-Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.

-Don't stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don't
forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm's length
and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass 
ball collection.

-Wear comfortable shoes.

-Do not spend too much time with large groups of people.

-Plan your day so you never have to rush.

-Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if
you have paid them, even if they do favors you don't want.

-After dinner, wash the dishes.

-Calm down.

-Don't expect your children to love you, so they can, if they want 
to.

-Don't be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.

-Don't think that progress exists. It doesn't.

-Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don't do
anything to make it impossible.

-Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not 
possible, go to another one.

-If you feel tired, rest.

-Don't be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel 
even older. Which is depressing.

-Do one thing at a time.

-If you burn your finger, put ice on it immediately. If you bang
your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for 20
minutes. you will be surprised by the curative powers of ice and
gravity.

-Do not inhale smoke.

-Take a deep breath.

-Do not smart off to a policeman.

-Be good.

-Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.

-Do not go crazy a lot. It's a waste of time. 

-Drink plenty of water. When asked what you would like to 
drink, say, "Water, please."

-Take out the trash.

-Love life.

-Use exact change.

-When there's shooting in the street, don't go near the window.